WHY WHY WHY :)

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars , but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

And at last ……

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you

You’ve Been Programming Too Long When…

  1. When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”.
  2. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
  3. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!”, and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
  4. When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
  5. When you look for your car keys using: “grep keys /dev/pockets”
  6. When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
  7. When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
  8. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
  9. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you’re doing the math in octal.
  10. When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

Jokes of the Day

Automatic Aeroplane

The world’s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.

The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” a voice intoned. “Welcome to the debut of the world’s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong … Nothing can go wrong…nothing can go wrong….”

Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Hacker

  1. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 
  2. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. 
  3.  When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 
  4.  Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 
  5.  Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work. 
  6.  Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” 95 times during the movie “The Net” 
  7.  Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments. 
  8.  Video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons 
  9.  When his computer starts up, you hear, “Good Morning, Mr. President.” 
  10.  You hear him murmur, “Let’s see you use that Visa card now, jerk.”

Jokes

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
  

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

Who is great? It’s u
Who is smart? It’s u
Who is sweetest? It’s u
Who is jolly? It’s u
Who is lying? Of course, it’s me.

6 facts on Earth
1st fact : U can’t touch all ur teeth with ur tongue.
2nd fact : After reading this , all fools will try it.
3rd fact : Now u will smiles Bcoz u have become a fool.
4th fact : Now u want 2 fool ur friends.
5th fact : Now u forward it 2 all fools.
6th fact : Fact 1 is false.

There are two times a man doesn’t understand a woman,before marriage and after marriage!

Why did you hit your husband with chair?
“I couldn’t lift the table”