Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars , but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
And at last ……
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you
The world’s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” a voice intoned. “Welcome to the debut of the world’s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong … Nothing can go wrong…nothing can go wrong….”
Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Hacker
You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” 95 times during the movie “The Net”
Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
Video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons
When his computer starts up, you hear, “Good Morning, Mr. President.”
You hear him murmur, “Let’s see you use that Visa card now, jerk.”