You’ve Been Programming Too Long When…

  1. When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”.
  2. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
  3. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!”, and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
  4. When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
  5. When you look for your car keys using: “grep keys /dev/pockets”
  6. When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
  7. When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
  8. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
  9. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you’re doing the math in octal.
  10. When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

Jokes of the Day

Automatic Aeroplane

The world’s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.

The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” a voice intoned. “Welcome to the debut of the world’s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong … Nothing can go wrong…nothing can go wrong….”

Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Hacker

  1. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 
  2. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. 
  3.  When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 
  4.  Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 
  5.  Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work. 
  6.  Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” 95 times during the movie “The Net” 
  7.  Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments. 
  8.  Video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons 
  9.  When his computer starts up, you hear, “Good Morning, Mr. President.” 
  10.  You hear him murmur, “Let’s see you use that Visa card now, jerk.”

Balu’s Love Story

I am L.Balamuthu B.tech (put a bar over the B.tech)

 

This is my love story.

 

I was loving a girl for past 3 years.

She is very familiar but quite hard to understand.

Every guys just obey what she says

 

Let us get into the story now….

 

When I was doing my under graduation,

I had to experience this lovable incident with a girl. [I don’t want to mention her name right now]

 

Every guys and girls in my college knows her.

And goes behind her.

 

“But I did not show any interest on her.”

 

She use to come and often disturbs and irritates me.

She follows me every time.

 

I tried to get away from her.

But she does not run off me.

 

She confused me a lot…

I got flunk in my examinations in the very first semester.

I’m damn sure that she was the cause.

But I could not do anything in her case.

 

Even I complained my staff that she is frustrating me..

But nothing worked.

 

 

And… at one stage..

 “I fell in love with her. “

 

I started to follow her every time.

I use to send letters once in 6 months.

And she replies me that “im here with you.”

 

She never leaves me. And so do i.

I thought that ill be holding her even after my graduation.

 

But my entire dream came to an end.

 

Yes…

Two days before she refused to love me.

 

I was shocked.

 

She gave me a wedding card and told me

 

 “This is not a real love. it is just an affection and

I can’t continue this relationship any more.”

 

 

 

—- I’m so sad—

But I accepted it.

Bcoz we have to accept both failure and success.

 

And  now I would like to specify her name…

 

 

That girl’s name is MATHEMATICS III

And we use call her as  “MA231.”

 

Two days before my love result is published in anna university website.

And I’ve been told that no relation exists between us.

And I am not allowed to write any letters (exams) hereafter.

 

The card she gave me is not her wedding card. Its my degree certificate.

 

 

This is my story..I thank u for spending your valuable time with me.

 

 

———— ——— ——-Happy  Endings—– ——— ——— ——— —

 

L.Balamuthu B.tech (no bars over B.Tech)

 

Jokes

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
  

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

Who is great? It’s u
Who is smart? It’s u
Who is sweetest? It’s u
Who is jolly? It’s u
Who is lying? Of course, it’s me.

6 facts on Earth
1st fact : U can’t touch all ur teeth with ur tongue.
2nd fact : After reading this , all fools will try it.
3rd fact : Now u will smiles Bcoz u have become a fool.
4th fact : Now u want 2 fool ur friends.
5th fact : Now u forward it 2 all fools.
6th fact : Fact 1 is false.

There are two times a man doesn’t understand a woman,before marriage and after marriage!

Why did you hit your husband with chair?
“I couldn’t lift the table”